February 2012
6 posts
Great Minds
For the last few years I’ve tried to think of merchandise that I wouldn’t be embarrassed to sell on the road, and the only idea I’ve ever liked is t-shirts with idiotic slogans attributed to great thinkers. I’m sure I’ll never have any of these made, but that didn’t stop April Richardson and me from putting this list...
January 2012
5 posts
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December 2011
15 posts
An Audience with the King
I’m back on Paul “King of TV” Goebel’s podcast discussing matters TV-related and other important subjects!
http://www.thekingoftv.com/podcast/2011/12/12/episode-275-w-andy-wood/
November 2011
18 posts
Jason Nash Is Married, Season 2
Jason Nash is probably best known for his awesome podcast Guys With Feelings, but he’s also a ridiculously talented comedic writer/performer/director, and I had the pleasure of helping him produce the 11-episode second season of his series “Jason Nash Is Married” this summer. The full episodes will be viewable on ComedyCentral.com soon, but for now, here’s a trailer showing...
Goebel, Conniff & Wood
I was a guest on Paul “The King of TV” Goebel’s podcast last night, along with Frank Conniff of MST 3K! Topics discussed include NBC’s schedule shakeup, Rob Schneider’s new show, and whether I’m a douche for live-tweeting that Gallagher show.
Here’s the link to listen/download.
Gallagher!
Big thanks to @ChaseRoper for putting together all of my tweets from Saturday’s Gallagher show in Ventura. Here they are for your perusal:
Gallagher Live Tweet 11/12/2011
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The Hangover Part III
Guess what? Phil’s getting married, but not before throwing a bachelor party to remember at the center of the earth! Alan, after being banned from the festivities, redeems himself enough to get an invitation by building an earth drill with his parents’ money that’s capable of digging the entire group to party central at the earth’s core. Meanwhile, Mr. Chow has escaped from Interpol...
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Some Movie Pitches
A few ideas I’ve had on the back burner:
- The story of an alcoholic obstetrician who can only deliver babies when he’s completely blacked out: BYOB/GYN
- A sports-themed re-boot of Brokeback Mountain starring Jason Kidd and Nolan Ryan: The Kidd Stay in the Pitcher
- A Mumbai restaurateur moves to DC to become a high-powered lobbyist: Currying Favor
- Andrew McCarthy and...
Haikus for Harrison
In honor of our ninth president, William Henry Harrison, who contracted pneumonia giving a two-hour inaugural address in the freezing cold without a coat on, dying 30 days into his presidency:
What were you thinking?
Put on a jacket; it’s cold.
Your long speech killed you.
Harrison’s tough call:
Live, or give two-hour address?
I choose the latter.
Movie Quote First Drafts
I swear to you, Internet, these were the writers’ initial attempts at what became some of the most famous lines in cinema history:
“This may be moot at this point, but our ship’s size might be insufficient for the big-ass shark that we’re going after. You know, the one that’s been eating everyone? You guys remember, right?” - Jaws
“As far as I’m concerned, baby, you’re...
October 2011
7 posts
Zombie Questions
In the spirit of Halloween, I think it’s high time that we take a step back and ask ourselves the big questions. The big zombie questions. If we’re to believe the logic set in place by most zombie movies, all of the following things are true: - A zombie’s sole motivation is to eat the living — specifically, their brains. - The living become zombies by being “bitten” by zombies. -...
7 Billion People?!?!?!
The population is set to hit 7 billion on Monday. Numbers that large are hard to grasp, so here are a few ways of putting 7 billion in perspective: - That’s one for every person on the planet! - That’s 3 billion less than 10 billion! - If you ate a million pizzas that were 7,000 calories each, you would have eaten 7 billion calories! - If you ate 7 pizzas that were a billion calories each, you...
